Heh...Go lightning...

That happens to be our school mascot. A lightning bolt.

And it's freaking me out.

HOLY HELL.

It's been raining for 3 weeks straight and I'm just about ready to lose it.

The thunder and lightning here is driving me batshit insane because it HASN'T stopped, and it's at the point where you're pretty damn sure it's struck enough places once that the only spot it could possibly hit without breaking it's never-twice rule is YOU. But I suppose it's a good thing, right? Our wells have been rather dry and the rain was just a messed up prayer from some idiot who couldn't take the dry spell.

"Please, please, we can't survive without water. God, let it rain and never stop!" Me: You Asshole.

I forgot what the sun looked like. Sigh. You know, once it's summer and you've nothing else to occupy your time other than Keeping Up With The Kardashians re-runs and a vat of Ben and Jerry Ice cream, you realize why summer really sucks ostrich eggs. (Those are some big huevos, my friends). First off, it is never a guarantee that you will see your friends and hang out like you promised on the very last hour of school while you held hands and sang "Kumbaya" with her and 37 of your other homosexual friends. It's frustrating because I live in some stuck-up rich suburbia whose pompous ass couldn't fit in through a revolving door even if you buttered up the sides with vaseline. AND in stuck-up rich suburbias with imaginary fat bums, everybody is always traveling because their fat wallets can take the hit.

And that makes me mad, for lack of a better word, 'cause then I'm all alone in my little corner, stacking up shelfs at the library wondering if the splinters in the books shelves are sharp enough to slit my wrists. That was joke, I'm not suicidal. At least, not now...Give me another month and we'll see where I'm at.

Alright, well, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. So, I'm going to look up every possible fun thing to do by yourself for the summer. Starting with longer guitar classes, soccer training, and volunteering at the library. And the whole re-inventing myself thing will happen as soon as the rain lets up and I can run again...If that ever happens.

Spare me the endless irony

It's irony, and it's fucking brilliant.

Turns out, I am ADHD-positive. Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder of the Inattentive Type. Basically, I can't pay attention to save my life. Literally. I could be driving a car, simultaneously texting my friend about this other girl who's a total ditz and wore green for Freshmen step-up day and everybody knows you're not supposed to wear green on step-up day because THAT, my friends, is anarchy to the herierarchical system that is supported in High School, which is like bitch-slapping god while wearing neo-nazi swastika patches at your local Wal-mart! Dammit, what is WRONG with you, you goddamn spaz!

BOOM.
Car crash.
...and they said it wasn't terminal.

Anyways, the results were in just this morning. So, I've been put on Ritalin for a couple weeks to test for any side effects; it's a pretty low dosage, 27 milligrams.

You know what my worst fear is when I take the pill?

I think I might just lose myself. Call me crazy, but whenever I space out and my mind is reeling with the insights of my imagination, I feel like myself. Without that, I'd have no fuel to harbor my creativity, neither the strength to. I'm afraid that if I focus for once in my life, I wouldn't like what I see.

" I see my life as what I would like to see happen, not what actually does."
And along comes Ritalin to take it all away.

*Sigh*, my friends did always think I should be medicated.

Anyways, enough with that. On to Finals! Yes. Finals. The single reason why all teens should be on anti-depressants. Thankfully, I do okay in my classes. 2 A's, 1 B+ and a single C...In Math. So, if I keep riding this wave long enough, I might just make it long enough to see the daylight of summer. Hoo-rah! I can't wait. :]

Oh, I got a haircut. Hehe. YES! The short one I was hoping for. It doesn't look like the photo, but in my opinion, MUCHO better. It's short-ish (doesn't even reach my shoulder blades), it's messy and it's uber sexy. And so much easier to take care of. Oh.So.Much.

Hmm, what else did I miss? Nope. Got nothin' else to say. Who'da thunk?

-The now-medicated Tai.

When you're on a hooolidayy...

I'm learning how to play "Island in the Sun" by Weezer, which is tre magnifique! Actually, I already have the main chord progression down.

It's Em, Am, D, G. I D DUDD UU UDD I (Up, Down)

(By the way, the picture to the right shows a G chord.)

And that's basically it. Simple, right? Haha. It's the first song I'm actually learning, which is a step-up from just learning chords. I might just have a future in the music business, which excites me. :]

It's good that I'm taking a break, though, because FCATS put me through hell. But now they're over, and I think I did rather well. I'm not sweating it. Right now I'm just thinking of some good-old band names.


My Current Winning List:


Close But No Cigar
The Jig's Up!
In Like Flynn


...And that's it. Happy joy-joy. Night' guys. :]

I smell sex and candy

"Like disco superfly"

Hangin' round downtown by myself

And I had so much time

To sit and think about myself

And then there she was

Like double cherry pie

Yeah there she was

Like disco superfly

I smell sex and candy here

Who's that lounging in my chair

Who's that casting devious stares

In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream

Hangin' round downtown by myself

And I had too much caffeine

And I was thinkin' 'bout myself

And then there she was

In platform double suede

Yeah there she was

Like disco lemonade

I smell sex and candy here

Who's that lounging in my chair

Who's that casting devious stares

In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream

Mama this surely is a dream

I smell sex and candy here

Who's that lounging in my chair

Who's that casting devious stares

In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream

Mama this surely is a dream

Yeah mama this must be my dream

The end of the week.

Fact: My weekend went swimmingly well.

I got tons of stuff done. I learned new chords in le guitar on Saturday, saw Watchmen right after (And might I add, that movie was orgasmic), took a test for Sylvan, watched another movie about spies and CIA agents, studied for a test, watched Taken in DVD, and ended the day passed out on my sister's bed. It was near-perfect Saturday. Close, but no cigar.
On Sunday, I had a "me" day. Where everything was catered to and for the service of moi.
Haha, I pampered myself endlessly until my skin literally glowed like I just chewed glowbugs out of a vending machine. Seriously. Rad weekend.
In fact, I feel so great, I think I'm going to throw myself on Pete Wentz look-alike now.

Arrivederci!
-T

Bum Tuesday.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, mom! We'll all pretend it's your 30th instead of that other 2-digit number. We went to Chili's, which was rather nice.
I'm pretty sure there's a requirement to be gorgeous if you want to waitress there. Just an observation.

The carnival was alright, by the way. We had fun, we danced, we played charades. The weekend was great, but I got into a fight with Breanna that pretty much bugged me all night. I don't really like getting into details about her, she is honestly not worth the drama. No one is. I think, from now one, I'm dropping out of every single fight I'm in. I'm not angry, I'm not holding a grudge. If you're going to be an asshole, it shows what you are. Now that that's settled, I'd like to go ahead and sulk.
I'm literally in so many disagreements with people it's a wonder how I don't get jumped every waking moment of my life. It's fine, though.
I'm fine. Just [Tired].

Really.

My heart

Sometimes I like to imagine that

I exist in a world where no one

thinks I belong. A place that

dislikes me for who I am.

A paradox of a universe that

disregards nearly everything

I stand for, and outcasts me

so that I no longer hold a

voice that matters.

In that world people

are like animals.

Everybody.

but see, no

one knows

it, but

so am I.

i am

an

animal.

One that grows and fights

its way into the brinks of the wise

but lets it fall over with buttered fingers

Falling down, and down to the base

of the river. A river filled with my lost

hopes and admirations, polluted with my

greed and anger. But It's the river that I drink from

I like to remember my mistakes so that I can move

on, and become a better person.

But it's never so easy.

because my river

falls into a

waterfall

and I spill

every

thing.

So now...I start over again.

We all have to.