Noobs. You know NOTHING!

You call this insanity. I call it therapy.

I was up early in the morning the other day because I had an appointment with my personal trainer. I wound up waking two hours earlier than intended (due to an unfortunate mishap with my drunken ability to set my alarm clock), and spent those wee hours of the morning watching VHI's Top Video Countdown, which is a little better than AMTV, 'cos for one, it doesn't repeat the same recycled mainstream music piece of gargoyle shit.

I found Green Day's new single, 21 Guns. You have to admit, these guys stick to their winning formula when it comes to making songs. Punk rock songs are supposed to be hard-edged with subliminal messaging about political convictions and anti-establishment lyrics. 21 Guns does just that. The 21 Guns Salute originated in naval traditions, where a warships will fire all its round to sea to signify that it's disarmed and ammunitions had been spent, showing the lack of hostile intent.
So, that was good. Also, to fulfill my pop-punk quota of the day, I found All Time Low's Damned if I do Ya, (Damned if I don't!). Which isn't horrendous, but somehow, it sounds like the composition has been recycled, and while the words are original and entertaining, it falls short to my expectations. These guys can do better. But all in all, it's a pretty good track.

Okay, I'm done being smarticles.

"My summer is still lacking in thrilling action sequences and riveting romance scenes that will leave you believing in true love.In fact, my summer is the Norbit of all movies.It is the glorious fart in-between seats at a movie theater. The one that leaves you wondering, "Who the fu...?"

I ought to stop complaining and make things happen myself. I should "Get a life!" as my peers kindly suggest to me when walking down the hallways.
Ugh. Get a life?
That sounds like too much activity to me. :]

I wish I could go visit my friends in Rep.Dom. I'm sure that'd be a great couple of weeks. But the Prima Donna of the house doesn't want my company.
It's not bad enough that we menstruate together, now I have to listen to the woman?
Gee, I'm living a charmed life.

Peace out.
Tai. =]

I'm everything you're not.

The weather has improved!
I'm ecstatic. One gets tired of laying on the hardwood floor in a fetal position all day when thunderstorms are imminent and your TV cackles at you madly. (I was watching The Muppets.) You know what else I was watching?

Michael Jackson on the news.

Moonwalker...I am your father.

I believe it is in everybody's minds about his somewhat 'tragic' loss the other day, seemingly because he passed away right before his huge comeback! I mean, the man had a CHANCE! Move over, Britney Bitch. He had a sold-out 50 tours around the U.K, and he was completely ready to just dropkick everybody's flabbergasted faces.

Am I the only one that imagined his death in blazing glory? I'd always imagine the man keeling over in the middle of his moonwalk. Or at least in the middle of one his shows. The guy was a legend, and deserved to be remembered so! He was acquitted of the child molestation charges, and while eccentric and unbearingly pale, he changed the way music is today.

So, stop being patronizing asses and learn to face facts: He was a great entertainer, and we don't have very many with that sort of talent. R.I.P, MJ, I hope you find some semblance of peace wherever you are.

Everybody's been dying this whole damn week.

But you know what really chaps my ass about it?

Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and now Billie Mays?

C'mon!

That man is an icon! Who else would yell and demand me to buy the new Oxyclean Bleach Stain Remover on every decent channel on the tube? My friend told me that she always said, "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME, BILLIE MAYS?!"

And you know HOW he died? It is believed he knocked his head heading to Tampa, FL, in a rough landing. He complained about it, sort of rubbed his head, and walked it off. Then, the next morning, they find him unresponsive and without a pulse on his bed. Or...He could have OD'd on Oxyconti-clean. Oxyclean, I meant to say. :]

R.I.P, Oxyclean man, and Farrah!

(Next on the list...Madonna).

Watch me rep 220.

All of the songs on my playlist (----->) are my current list of songs that I replay over and over until I become so sick of them that I induct them into Songs Hall Of Fame. The SHOF is another playlist where all of my most amazing pick of music reside, and there are about 105 as of this moment. As I've mentioned before, I am a big fan of contemporary acoustics, but I also have a sweet spot for songs with brilliant lyrics and mildly melancholic composition, as well as rock songs with a slight influence of techno and just the overall weird beat of it all. Hence, my love for Panic At the Disco. But lately, Keane's been a winner. I found one of his songs on my favorite show, Scrubs, and pulled a few others.

Scrubs has excellent songs, am I the only one to notice?

***

Anyhow, I joined a gym! Yes, me in all my sweating glory will be toning up my calfs and biceps in a room stinking of salt and water. I'm duper excited.

The one thing I'm glad of is that it's a girls-only gym, and that's an upper because I honestly hate having to be in the same room as sweaty men.

***

In other news, I decided I'd form a fallback plan in case I don't get accepted to NYU. It's an out-of-state college, and I can't afford the pesos it would take to pay tuition there. My brother and I recently went touring university campuses and it's been an intriguing, albeit queer, experience. What with the fraternities and sororities hosting loud parties and all that. But heck, UF has an amazing campus. It's incredibly huge, has excellent programs, and more clubs than you can count. Plus, Go Gators! National College Football Champions 2008. It's ranked in one of the top 20 public universities in the nation, and it's deemed as a kick-ass party college. As soon as the tour guide mentioned they had five Starbucks around campus, I was sold.

The orange and blue colors will take some getting used to, though.

That's about it. Oh, and always check the toilet before you sit on it.

God, I hate sharing bathrooms with my brother.

Three more years of High School.

I've got a new favorite song. It's "Sometime around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event, and it's video is really something special. In fact, I watched it this morning right before my jog on AM MTV and I was completely taken aback by the wistful lyrics and the powerful, real voice of Mikel Jollet. One of the bands to watch out for this year.

I had this weird crystallizing moment that made me realize something that hadn't registered in my brain before: I'm a Sophomore. This can't be a blog about my freshman experiences in High School, because frankly, my freshman experiences blew. I mean, seriously, hardly any good parties. Jokes aside, looking back at this year I've come to the conclusion that I am one boring chick-a-dilly. I ought to go out more, but I'm as lazy as it comes.

There's always Sophomore year. :] Ahhh, I can anticipate some real good times, and I'm damn sure gonna make it a hell-fire year bursting with fun and funny things; preferrably teachers caked in donut filling.

C'mon, tell me you can't picture it.

Honestly, though, I can't seem to shake the doom and gloom (And all things that go Ka-boom!) feeling out of my head. Becoming a Sophomore entails a lot more than the rights to pick on the new freshmeats.

See, we're the ones who get flooded with letters reminding us about our SAT Prep Exams, the ones who are somewhat sandwhiched between grade levels. I mean, what the hell are we? We're not "Upper-Classmen," we barely pass the hygiene check. Our idea of fun is to hog the treadmill machines at the local YMCA, gathering in our little cliques and bother the crud out of the adults who are actually there to care for their personal fitness.

We're immmature, loud, and we can't face facts or save face. We're like little Michael Jacksons, moonwalking around walgreens with characeristically creepy smiles and incredibly pale faces. Which is ironic, I mean, this is Florida. But hey, what the hell, I love it! I can already see the adults blood boiling when we take our brother/sister's car out for a test drive.

So, in honor of my following year, I hereby proclaim this blog "The Sophomore Version". 'Tis about time I one-upped myself. So, it's official...

I'm a sophomore, baby. :D

Heh...Go lightning...

That happens to be our school mascot. A lightning bolt.

And it's freaking me out.

HOLY HELL.

It's been raining for 3 weeks straight and I'm just about ready to lose it.

The thunder and lightning here is driving me batshit insane because it HASN'T stopped, and it's at the point where you're pretty damn sure it's struck enough places once that the only spot it could possibly hit without breaking it's never-twice rule is YOU. But I suppose it's a good thing, right? Our wells have been rather dry and the rain was just a messed up prayer from some idiot who couldn't take the dry spell.

"Please, please, we can't survive without water. God, let it rain and never stop!" Me: You Asshole.

I forgot what the sun looked like. Sigh. You know, once it's summer and you've nothing else to occupy your time other than Keeping Up With The Kardashians re-runs and a vat of Ben and Jerry Ice cream, you realize why summer really sucks ostrich eggs. (Those are some big huevos, my friends). First off, it is never a guarantee that you will see your friends and hang out like you promised on the very last hour of school while you held hands and sang "Kumbaya" with her and 37 of your other homosexual friends. It's frustrating because I live in some stuck-up rich suburbia whose pompous ass couldn't fit in through a revolving door even if you buttered up the sides with vaseline. AND in stuck-up rich suburbias with imaginary fat bums, everybody is always traveling because their fat wallets can take the hit.

And that makes me mad, for lack of a better word, 'cause then I'm all alone in my little corner, stacking up shelfs at the library wondering if the splinters in the books shelves are sharp enough to slit my wrists. That was joke, I'm not suicidal. At least, not now...Give me another month and we'll see where I'm at.

Alright, well, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. So, I'm going to look up every possible fun thing to do by yourself for the summer. Starting with longer guitar classes, soccer training, and volunteering at the library. And the whole re-inventing myself thing will happen as soon as the rain lets up and I can run again...If that ever happens.

Spare me the endless irony

It's irony, and it's fucking brilliant.

Turns out, I am ADHD-positive. Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder of the Inattentive Type. Basically, I can't pay attention to save my life. Literally. I could be driving a car, simultaneously texting my friend about this other girl who's a total ditz and wore green for Freshmen step-up day and everybody knows you're not supposed to wear green on step-up day because THAT, my friends, is anarchy to the herierarchical system that is supported in High School, which is like bitch-slapping god while wearing neo-nazi swastika patches at your local Wal-mart! Dammit, what is WRONG with you, you goddamn spaz!

BOOM.
Car crash.
...and they said it wasn't terminal.

Anyways, the results were in just this morning. So, I've been put on Ritalin for a couple weeks to test for any side effects; it's a pretty low dosage, 27 milligrams.

You know what my worst fear is when I take the pill?

I think I might just lose myself. Call me crazy, but whenever I space out and my mind is reeling with the insights of my imagination, I feel like myself. Without that, I'd have no fuel to harbor my creativity, neither the strength to. I'm afraid that if I focus for once in my life, I wouldn't like what I see.

" I see my life as what I would like to see happen, not what actually does."
And along comes Ritalin to take it all away.

*Sigh*, my friends did always think I should be medicated.

Anyways, enough with that. On to Finals! Yes. Finals. The single reason why all teens should be on anti-depressants. Thankfully, I do okay in my classes. 2 A's, 1 B+ and a single C...In Math. So, if I keep riding this wave long enough, I might just make it long enough to see the daylight of summer. Hoo-rah! I can't wait. :]

Oh, I got a haircut. Hehe. YES! The short one I was hoping for. It doesn't look like the photo, but in my opinion, MUCHO better. It's short-ish (doesn't even reach my shoulder blades), it's messy and it's uber sexy. And so much easier to take care of. Oh.So.Much.

Hmm, what else did I miss? Nope. Got nothin' else to say. Who'da thunk?

-The now-medicated Tai.

When you're on a hooolidayy...

I'm learning how to play "Island in the Sun" by Weezer, which is tre magnifique! Actually, I already have the main chord progression down.

It's Em, Am, D, G. I D DUDD UU UDD I (Up, Down)

(By the way, the picture to the right shows a G chord.)

And that's basically it. Simple, right? Haha. It's the first song I'm actually learning, which is a step-up from just learning chords. I might just have a future in the music business, which excites me. :]

It's good that I'm taking a break, though, because FCATS put me through hell. But now they're over, and I think I did rather well. I'm not sweating it. Right now I'm just thinking of some good-old band names.


My Current Winning List:


Close But No Cigar
The Jig's Up!
In Like Flynn


...And that's it. Happy joy-joy. Night' guys. :]

I smell sex and candy

"Like disco superfly"

Hangin' round downtown by myself

And I had so much time

To sit and think about myself

And then there she was

Like double cherry pie

Yeah there she was

Like disco superfly

I smell sex and candy here

Who's that lounging in my chair

Who's that casting devious stares

In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream

Hangin' round downtown by myself

And I had too much caffeine

And I was thinkin' 'bout myself

And then there she was

In platform double suede

Yeah there she was

Like disco lemonade

I smell sex and candy here

Who's that lounging in my chair

Who's that casting devious stares

In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream

Mama this surely is a dream

I smell sex and candy here

Who's that lounging in my chair

Who's that casting devious stares

In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream

Mama this surely is a dream

Yeah mama this must be my dream

The end of the week.

Fact: My weekend went swimmingly well.

I got tons of stuff done. I learned new chords in le guitar on Saturday, saw Watchmen right after (And might I add, that movie was orgasmic), took a test for Sylvan, watched another movie about spies and CIA agents, studied for a test, watched Taken in DVD, and ended the day passed out on my sister's bed. It was near-perfect Saturday. Close, but no cigar.
On Sunday, I had a "me" day. Where everything was catered to and for the service of moi.
Haha, I pampered myself endlessly until my skin literally glowed like I just chewed glowbugs out of a vending machine. Seriously. Rad weekend.
In fact, I feel so great, I think I'm going to throw myself on Pete Wentz look-alike now.

Arrivederci!
-T

Bum Tuesday.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, mom! We'll all pretend it's your 30th instead of that other 2-digit number. We went to Chili's, which was rather nice.
I'm pretty sure there's a requirement to be gorgeous if you want to waitress there. Just an observation.

The carnival was alright, by the way. We had fun, we danced, we played charades. The weekend was great, but I got into a fight with Breanna that pretty much bugged me all night. I don't really like getting into details about her, she is honestly not worth the drama. No one is. I think, from now one, I'm dropping out of every single fight I'm in. I'm not angry, I'm not holding a grudge. If you're going to be an asshole, it shows what you are. Now that that's settled, I'd like to go ahead and sulk.
I'm literally in so many disagreements with people it's a wonder how I don't get jumped every waking moment of my life. It's fine, though.
I'm fine. Just [Tired].

Really.

My heart

Sometimes I like to imagine that

I exist in a world where no one

thinks I belong. A place that

dislikes me for who I am.

A paradox of a universe that

disregards nearly everything

I stand for, and outcasts me

so that I no longer hold a

voice that matters.

In that world people

are like animals.

Everybody.

but see, no

one knows

it, but

so am I.

i am

an

animal.

One that grows and fights

its way into the brinks of the wise

but lets it fall over with buttered fingers

Falling down, and down to the base

of the river. A river filled with my lost

hopes and admirations, polluted with my

greed and anger. But It's the river that I drink from

I like to remember my mistakes so that I can move

on, and become a better person.

But it's never so easy.

because my river

falls into a

waterfall

and I spill

every

thing.

So now...I start over again.

We all have to.

Carnival di Venice

Italian club is doing this carnival event in the courtyard tomorrow at the High School.
Freakin' A! I'm so stoked!
I'm in the Italian club, so we'll be dressing up in masks and colorful costumes and parade around the school during all lunches. So, two hours of being in the hot, sweltering heat with music, pizza, and friends. It's a promo for the cultural background, improving awareness on how awesome Italy is. Yuppers! I've got my outfit and everything else set up.
I honestly can't wait. BUT! And yes, there is a very big butt in this situation. Somebody who I used to know, yet I'm slightly afraid and nervous around because I used to be infatuated with them, is also coming. Their in Italian class, and all italian classes are staying during all lunches.

And that's a negative. Because I honestly hate dealing with people. I, um...tend to avoid the ones I don't get along with.

In other news, today was alright.

RANT:

One thing: I don't like Michael M. Not in the least. I want him to stop bothering me. He probably thinks we're still friends and it's okay to still talk to him, but I made it as nicely clear as possible: I don't want to be friends. EVER. His quirks annoy the shite out of me. Please, back off, dude.

I don't like it when you say everyone is a bitch.
I don't like your constant need to be weird. Combing people's knees? Seriously?
I don't like that you ALWAYS have to be talking. SILENCE is golden and does not mean people are uncomfortable, they just want peace and quiet.
I don't like your over-sensitivity. Not everyone desires to rip down your self-esteem.
I don't like you claiming you have OCD and use it as an excuse to constantly brush my hair.
And, oh yeah. I hate that you think it's okay to take my new brush to comb your greasy hair without my permission.
Stop calling me 3/4 of a girl. Last I checked, I have boobs.
We are not friends. We are not enemies. When I said I wanted to distance myself from you, I meant it.
So, help me out here: Leave me alone, or I will explode.
I tolerate you in class but this is what I'm really thinking inside my head, capisce?

Saturday as usual....

I am going to donate my hair to "Locks of Love", which is a charity that donates hair to cancer patients. I figured since I'm already chopping off my locks, I might as well make sure that somebody else will treat them better than I do. Hoo-rah for me!

Today....

• I learned the chords to C, D, and G and how to read notes in my guitar lesson.
• I realized that I have bipolar hair.
• I toyed with the idea of strip-teasing my cousins when I visit their home in conservative Pennsylvania.
• I ate by the shitloads.
• Got three hours of volunteer service down. 37 more to go.

Oh, Friday we had Free Sport Day again. I did the exact same thing I was doing last Friday. I honestly have nothing better to do. Brooke and the other girls are all giddy, gossiping and laying about on the court. I'm mildly hyperactive, so I like to jog around and kick the ball for a little bit. Anywho, I walked up to Coach and smiled, "Hey, coach! Wanna see a trick?" I exclaim eagerly, positioning the ball between my feet. She sat upright and studied me, "Yeah, definitely."

So, I did my world famous Rainbow and it didn't stick so well. It did go up in the air, but it went over my left side, which I didn't like. My disappointment showed though, but she was still impressed. "Are you trying out for the team?"

I shook my head and shrugged. I could tell she was analyzing me through her sunglasses, "You should. With my help, I think you could even make it. You have potential."

At this point, I was like, Whaaaa? So, I asked, "...I don't know. Think I should?"

And this is the part that shocked me. She says, "Yeah, I'm the coach for the J.V team. I'd like to see you try out next year."

I did not know that. SCORE!

Because life is already so grand

Today I learned that....

...I'm apparently, quote unquote

"Judgemental to the point that nobody wants to trust you with their secrets, and
mildly self-centered."

As said by a person who claims to have psychic abilities and attempted to "read" my personality and life.
...I have nice taste in glasses. (Converse brand glasses in majové brown! Matches my eyes. :] )
... Psychics are total bullshit.
...Nice guys aren't so good as you always thought.
...Pete-Wentz look-alikes are really hot when tanned.
...Videogames that involve killing nazi zombies are the shiznit.
...Show me what I'm looking for- By the Carolina Liars, is my new favorite song.
...I should really start keeping a day planner.

P.S: I'm not gonna hold her psychic judging against her. She's just a very bad judge in character.

Is it...?

IS IT WEIRD TO ASK GUYS OUT?

I mean, c'mon, it's the 21st century, so henceforth it should be allowed! I daresay! Haha.
But joking aside, it shouldn't be a big deal. Sometimes, even, the guys like it. It takes off the stress of them doing it for themselves. Yet it is so taboo to talk about. You can't just say, "Ooh, I want ask that cutie out," to one of your girl friends without them raising their brows to their hairlines and subsequently asking, "What..The...Fuck...?"

I only ask because I'm peeved off my Valentine's didn't go as I wanted it to. It was a good day-- Even though it was a Friday the 13th. Still, it went as smooth and nice as I normally would have liked it to have gone.

For starters, someone asked me if I lost weight. Why, yes! Yes I have. Isn't that funny?
The day was bettered by playing soccer outside during Free Sport Day in our Personal Fitness class. We could do whatever we wanted; hence the soccer mania. So, I was doing "rainbow" tricks, which is when you roll up the ball on the back of your leg and kick it up so that it flies over your head in a perfect arch. Which is why it's called a rainbow.

It's a really hard trick to master, don't ever think it's all in a day's work. It took me days to get it down right, and even when I did manage to kick it up, it would spiral sideways. I hated that. But now, after countless hours in my backyard tripping on wet grass, I showed off my skills to nobody in particular.

I was in an empty grass space by myself, kicking rainbows, when three seniors walked up to me in sheer amazement. "That was really cool! Could you do it again?"

Me, being my suave self, stuttered,

"W-what this? Oh, that's nothing!"

I showed off once more and it was perfect. They awed at me in full-force and asked me if I was on the girl's team. I told them I wasn't, but asked if I should be.

...They said yes.

So, that was an upper! Everything after that was fine, as well. We took two lunch periods instead of 1 because our teacher honestly didn't mind. I wound up hanging out with someone I wanted to get to know better. Which was a plus. And when we got back, I had fun talking to different people.

Oh, I went to the eye doctor. Bad vision, neat glasses!
Once I got back, I was ecstatic to see a friend responded to an e-mail I had sent some months ago.

Every nice thing happened except the one thing I really wanted: To ask out that Pete-Wentz-look-alike. I log onto Facebook and see his status is in Relationship.

Damnit.

R.I.P

It's what I want heaven to look like.

A few days ago I learned that one of my teacher's mom died. Erm, he's not my teacher, per se. But he's the teacher supporter of our GSA. (Gay-Straight Alliance), and the news completely shocked me. It shouldn't have, though, because earlier he was telling stories of how his mother had another stroke that day and how stressed he was in the whole situation.
So, one day I walk in the room, wondering where the teacher is, and Michael tells me he's in Ireland.
"Why?" I asked, and he delivers the bad news.

I have a funny view about death. Whenever I muster up the level of boredom needed to achieve a series of thought leading to death, I really really think about it. When you die, what really happens? Nobody knows. The ones that do know are "unavailable" at the moment. "Pcchhtttt- 1-800-SOULS, how may I decompose you?"

Sigh. It just bugs me how weird the whole concept of death is. It's ending the world we've known all our lives. And I don't think you get another shot. You don't "reincarnate". No more hangin'out on a Saturday Night causing a ruckus in the movie theater, no more crazy re-enactments of how our teachers peeved us off that day, no more nothing. Nada.

Why wasn't I born in the 80's? Or the 1800's, or in the Crustacea Era. Why was I born now?
Why not back then, when it was all so boring compared to how life is now? Life would have been so much simpler. And why wasn't I uglier? Or prettier? Why MY face? Why not someone else's, or maybe lead the life of a rich, spoiled brat; dictating the world in fashion the way I view it to be and draining my parent's bank accounts. Or a poor country girl. Humble and hard-working to the point of naiveness and innocence.

To how life has so many more opportunities, how we've all strived for open-minded thinking, Out of the box and all that fun stuff. Women can vote, black people aren't slaves anymore. It's all so different, arguably better, and more technological.

Was I meant to inspire, and if so, how? I want to inspire. I want to show everyone that I'm not afraid, but I am a little. Just a tinsy bit. Because if I was meant to create something, or be someone that touches the lives of others--What's to say I won't? That in some over-the-turn, inane desire to be my own person and control my own outcome gets in the way of why was I truly put here for?

But then again, what if there IS not reason for your existence?

...My head hurts.

AHH!

This is insanely epic! I was web-surfing today and I found the most incredible haircut ever.

THIS is what I want my cut to be like:

Disregard the first two (She looks disheveled and forced) But check out the short scene boy-cut on the bottom. Isn't that just brilliant? I love the colors; Dirty blonde with dark-brown undertones. I'm so ecstatic-- It's JUST what I was looking for. Now it won't be so hard trying to explain what kind of cut I want to my hairstylist. (Hoo-rah!)

I'll look brilliant when I get it done! Gah, that just made my day. :]

***

Anyways, I posted this up on my Facebook. I thought It was pretty good so I'm putting it up here:

25 Random things about me. (..And I have to go to the bathroom badly...)

1. I'm a fan of contemporary acoustics, which is why I love messing with the guitar.

2. As soon as I turn 16, I'm going sky-diving.

3. Currently I am negotiating a lip piercing with my parental units. Business with them is a little rocky at the moment, but I'm sure I'll be able to broker a deal by the summer, if liabilities aren't presented first.

4. Sometimes I claim I have OCD. I really don't, I just like blaming my randomness on medical diseases.

5. The only way I can cry is by picturing the image of my friends or families in their death bed. Yet if you sucker punch me in the gut, my tear ducts are solid.

6. Jenny Craig can kiss the fattest part of my ass. I'm losing weight the NORMAL way. Eat less, exercise more.

7. I get paranoid when people point out my asianness. I don't look that asian. I have almond-shaped brown eyes and full big lips, paired off nicely with a tan complexion. If anything, I look exotic...Damn gringos thinkin' I look asian...

8. Ilike to imagine scenarios inside my head that will probably never happen. It ranges from winning a Nobel Prize to seducing my Math teacher with organic apples.

9. I nickname all of my REAL crushes "Ace." The less lovey-dovey ones I just get something out of their name. Like Captain Morgan, or Whiskey.

10. Right now, a small bug just crept under the letter keys and I purposely typed it in and I think I just killed it. I can't wait to tell my buddhist friends about this. xD

11. Contrary to popular belief, I don't have a "lying" problem. I like to lie; I have no problem with it.

12. Life motto: It's better to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.

13. I'm one of those people that goes, "Ohmigod, I can't believe I just said that!" Then start to repeatedly hit myself on the forehead going, "Stupid, stupid, stupid."

14. I'm cooler than the other side of your pillow.

15. I might try out for the soccer team on my junior year. My sophomore year I'm going to focus on acting and drama.

16. My idea of revenge involves a gag-sock and a whole 'lotta duct tape.

17. I have a Bucket List. I plan on completing it by the time I'm 40. Number 34: Dive off the coast of The Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Number 60: Develop Tourette's syndrome. Number 61: Attend a church party.

18. Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin' bottle.

19. I'm prescribed for chill pills.

20. Whenever I'm in one of those cliche situations that happens in movies, I feel so out of it. Like a part of me is there, responding to the situation, but the other part is asking, "Since when did my life become a spin-off of a bad 90's soap opera?"

21. "I'm sorry, Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns." I once said that to this really annoying drama queen.

22. My New Year's resolution? Attend 6 concerts this year, watch 15 totally-worth-8-bucks movies, manage all A's, and balance a party every month.

23. Best Pick-Up line ever: Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

24: I had the nervous habit of biting my nails (And surrounding skin) 'till I was 14. It took the promise of a cruise ship celebrating my Quinceaneras with 25 other frilly, latina girls to make me realize it wasn't attractive.

25. Hey, I'm Nobody, but everybody calls me either: Tai, Lichen, Charli, Tylennol, Taicreshia, Tom-Tom, or Asi. (I'll let you decide.)

(Plus, my bladder is exploding...)

What it was and what it wasn't

It Was...

• The worst flirting I've ever done.
• Freezing to the point of dishing out eternal damnations to my friends...
• A bad 30th impression.
• a great hug and welcome to my friend Chanti, whose finally back in school.
• An epiphany.

It Wasn't...

• My proudest moment.
• A good day.
• A heck of a lot of fun.

P.S: Sticking your finger in the ketchup and calling out, "My germs!" doesn't help the flirting situation, either...

So, I figured I might as well...

We had this chinese lady who subbed in for our Italian teacher. Honestly, picture that: A chinese woman trying to teach Italian to overweight Americans.

All we did was go over some minor details and watch a movie. Which, I realized, is my new favoritest movie ever. Move over, Titanic, you've been replaced by La Vita E Bella.

It literally won 3 Oscars (Not nominated, WON) and 52 other wins. It's so romantic and funny and dramatic, le sigh. My new fantasy is to curl up on a Saturday night watching that movie with whomever I'm seriously dating at the time... sigh again.

On the other hand, My bestie is sick. She's been missing out practically the whole week because of the nasty cold front, and it's sad; Because now she can't see my rad cross-dressing skills. Try not to freak out, it's not uncommon for me to try different things. I've been sneaking into my brother's closet every morning and taking my pick of his clothes. It's pretty freaking funny-- He hasn't a clue.

I pick on my brother a lot, which is fine because he's older and grown-upper. Whenever he pisses me off, I hide something personal of his. Kind of like my twisted version of Piss and Go Seek.

It's therapeutic, I recommend it.

It was also fun when I mistook this girl for another friend this morning. She was one of the upperclassmen. I practically shoved myself into her and demanded that she hold my brush while I unzipped my jacket. She looked puzzled and when I realized she wasn't my friend, we both were a little taken aback. I apologized and she offered to hold my stuff anyways, so I let her. That opened doors for me, because we started talking and I figured that if I get in tight with the upperclassmen, I could finally sit with them and ditch my loser friends.

...Dude, joke.

Today was A-okay. Nothing special, except that it didn't go directly as planned. I think I may have just failed a test.

I'll update in a few days. 'Till then, sayonara.

Death to the dougnuts!

I spend the entire day chewing through bags of pretzels like nobody's damn business. My coach wants me eating healthy, or in her own words, "You know you're going to die if you eat that--" She points at the mini doughnuts "--Right?"

...I set aside the dougnut and pouted.

Did you know bugels are bad for you? They contain some partially hydrogenated chemical stuff that messes up your system. Don't fall for it's finger-capping fun! It's all a trick, I tell you! A trick!

TIPS: When reading labels, watch out for these: High fructose corn syrup (Don't believe those stupid commercials, they really are bad for you. Moderation my ass), Partially hydrogenated oils, sugar, enriched anything, and salt.

If one of them's in the first four ingredients, it means it has more of the bad stuff. It orders from highest to lowest.

You better watch out, Johhny Law.

***

Today was a half-day, but my mom didn't know that. I got back at 12 and spent the extra two hours blowing up Nazis (Call of Duty 4) and watching Stepbrothers at my friend's house. I hung out there until it was around the time my bus would drop me off at home and then just bolted back to my house. 'Tis was an interesting afternoon...Until her granddad pooped on the party.

So, my mom totally bought the lie when I walked in (Score!), and made me clean my room. Grr. Which reminds me, I was invited to hang out with a few friends at a chinese restaurant. Captain Morgan is supposed to be there (Person I mildly obsess with for the heck of it), so I'm definitely considering it. Surprisingly enough, I don't feel like doing anything this Friday.

There's a party in The Lakes. Someone told me it was open, so I told them I was going to consider, too. Chinese resaurant, or party? Argh.

***

I still have all A's this semester. Biology and Italian are bordering on B's, and I don't want that. No way, jose. If I get all A's this semester, I finally get a new phone. New phone means new responsibilities and the ability to bootycall. Oooh, yeah.

I'm sitting next to you now!

Walking on a Dream- Empire of the sun.

It was 30 degrees outside today. I had on a tank top, a sweater over the top, and a hoodie over the sweater over the top. And I wore black tights under sweatpants. It was so fucking cold...
(The curse word is justified at this point.)

But it gives such an awesome excuse to snuggle. xD

Ah, I hugged my friend Renata this morning. I rarely see her anymore, and she is such a spunky chick. She's a great person, cross my heart. But see, sometimes there aren't great people in my life. Sometimes, just when I think a person is good, and then you get to know him/her, you realize that they're not who you thought they were.
You don't want to hurt this person because they've had it rough, and you don't want to become the next story he/she rants to somebody else about. But you just don't want to be their friend.

But I feel it's worth letting my feelings be known.

"It's been fun. It's been real. It just hasn't been real fun..."
I'm Sorry.

Me-ow!
In other news, I was sort of bummed during third and fourth period. But then, the greatest (Well, it was pretty funny to me) thing happened. These two girls literally had a smackdown right outside my math class. It was epic!
The security guards were trying to pry them off each other, but they just kept going at it. They were beating at each other like the beyotch had killed their mother. It was pretty dramatic.

But later, a girl that was friends with both of them was sobbing in her desk. Surprisingly, she cheered up pretty fast. Everybody wanted to know what happened, and the more they talked to her, the calmer she got. It's a new semester, so I have new classes. And to me, the math class is relatively new. So, I got brownie points for making acquaintence with her. She saw me doodling in my graph notebook, "Wow, that is so great! How long have you been drawing?"
"4 years." *Big cheesy smile* And so on...

Highlight Of The Day

But that wasn't the highlight of my day. HOLY CRACKERS! My bus driver is constipated. Well, he must be! That complete scuzwad deserted us and mixed us with this other bus. Since the amount of kids our old bus took was relatively small, they integrated us into another route bus to save money. Those idiots miscalculated, though, because the bus was so full that there were 3 to a seat of two people. It was grossly crowded.
Thankfully, I was early, even though I didn't know it was going to fill up like that. This guy that I met in my art class last semester mounted the bus, and in recognition, our faces lit up and we exchanged happy hello's. He's really amazing (And he looks like Pete Wentz). Immediately, he said, "I'm sitting next to you now!"
And I happily scooched over. He's a sophomore. *Smiles* So, we got to talking. He has a fun, outgoing personality, and I noticed that last semester, but I never really talked to him that much, unfortunately. I was swooning like a lovestruck teenager.

By the time we were laughing about his needle encounter, a ginormous amount of people occupied the bus. My close friend Chanti glances around in bewilderment, looks at me, and yells, "Tai, I'm sitting in your lap!"
So, Armando (Or Pete, as we'll call him), got up and let Chanti slide over to my lap. She got comfortable really fast, because my leg was numb by the end of the bus ride. Still, it was a hella rad ride. Us three we're joking and mucking about, haha. (Mostly poking fun at the lesbianism of it all. Haha, Chanti and I pretended to make-out, and some kid asked us if we we're scissoring. I told him, "Goddammit, No! We're fingering."
I made plans with Chanti for tomorrow to play video games at her house, then eat at TGIF Friday's and hit up the movies afterwards. A total girls night out. But I might just invite Armando to tag along. ;]

Ah, on a sidenote,
I'm really sore. We have this dykey female coach (She's a certified personal trainer, and she's kinda hot, too) who literally works us to our bones. She's not a P.E teacher, she's a Personal Fitness coach. There's a difference. She tells us what to eat and how to be healthy, and it's an actual class. And three days out of the week, we dress out and do push-ups, sit-ups, jogging, and all that fun stuff.

Still, she's hot. It's worth it.

ANND, that was my Thursday. =D
(P.S: G'bye Bush and Dick, helloooo Barack!)
8/10

Tai's Justified Math Survival Guide

((15 things to do while bored in Math class:))

1. Secretly name all of your teacher's body parts. Talk about them.
2. Name your pen, Mr.Pen. Cry whenever it commits suicide. (Falls off the desk.)
3. Run up to all your classmates, all hot and flustered, and frantically demand to know whether they studied for the test. Watch them freak out. (Optional: The truth.)

4. Buy a spray-bottle of windex and dump the contents, then refill with blue gatorade. Announce that you're thirsty in the middle of the lesson and spray furiously into your mouth.

5. Start a grind line. In the middle of the hallway.

6. Cause your eyes to twitch in a spazz whenever a friend insist on relaying a humorous story.

7. Pray for your friends lost sould regularly. Right to their faces. Don't be afraid to do it in public, either.

8. Smack your friend. Claim it was an involuntary muscle spasm.

9. Immediately lick every hand-out the teacher passes.

10. Become majorly claustrophobic. If anybody touches you, yell, "Bad touch, bad toouuch!" Then spazz periodically.

11. See if you can work in Brittney Spears in all of your conversations.

12. Whenever your friends are happy, console them with comforting words.

13. When anybody asks you for a favor, always reply with, 'Would you like fries with that?"

14. Stroke the person in front of you's neck and purr softly.

15. Always wait four seconds before replying to anybody. It's sure to drive them nuts.

Warning: Following these may cause fatal inflation of your pelvis. Not recommended for pregnant chongas. Ask your dentist if these are right for you. Side-effects may include sudden cool behavior and growth of a third boob.

Disclaimer: I don't own all of these. A few are from the internet.

I would like to start a prayer for this day...

...Because this is how it went....

I'm kind of in a mental haywire right now-- Math assassinated me.

I wound up taking Art and Math Finals today, which wasn't as hard as I thought. Art, anyways. During art, I gave farewell hugs to everybody, and we all had a somewhat nostalgic moment. It's been half a year, but it's been really cool getting to know these people. This year is zooming faster than I want it to. Aw... :[

Still, Math turned out to be incredibly annoying.

I hate my math teacher.

You hear this all the time, but listen to me when I say: I.HATE.MY.MATH.TEACHER

He's an incredibly self-centered, boisterous, southern hick with leering gray eyes. And he has a pot belly. It's the most hilarious thing.

He turns sideways (With his gut hanging out)and I go, 'Jiggly puff, jiggly puff!"

Ah. In other news, his test was hard. 80 questions, multiple choice. Needless to say, I didn't finish on time, so I stayed after class for a little longer. Since Math was the last final I had to take, I handed in my paper and rushed out of there like hell hath it coming. Of course, I missed my bus.

Luckily though, Daniela and Karina (Twins), were hanging around, wasting time until they had to walk home. They have a huge house in one of the more pricey areas of the city. Once, I even jumped into their pool with 3 other girls at their double sweet 15 party with all my clothes on. Taking a chance, I opted to walk with them back to their gigantor house and stay for a little while-- Until one of the 'rents picked me up.

It was such a great day for a walk, too. It's about a mile to their house from the High School and it was deliciously cold outside, for Florida anyways. 59 degrees here is like -20 degrees in North Carolina.

Breanna and Jarsi tagged along, and we were just goofing around. Jarsi is the insane fun guy that you want around in a party. He runs up in the middle of the street all the time (In his best John Lennon rocker outfit ensemble) and pops his booty at the incoming traffic.

Meanwhile, Daniela's yelling, "Jarsi, I swear to god I'm going to pop acid up your ass!"

Karina rolls her eyes, and Breanna joins Jarsi. All this time, I'm just dying in the corner from laughter.

That was kickass. I stayed at her house for about an hour, gagging on whipped cream (I kept trying to laugh with the whipped cream in my mouth, and I ended up breathing whipped cream, which made me cough and gag...) and talking outside by the pool.

I really needed a pick-me-up.

So that is why I thank you, lord, for twins.

Something about the stale air...

It was one of those mornings where you can't seem to get yourself up at the time you set the alarm clock for.
I set it for 5:15 AM (I take the bus at 6:30, and really can't afford to miss it. Everything kind of plummets to hell when I do.) I wound up raising myself from the bed like a mummified zombie-- with my arms fully stretched out and moaning like a madman-- at 5:45. By then, my spiderman sense was tingling and I sensed some serious trouble. Gettting to school is an adventure.

Especially when breakfast is recommended (Finals), and your mom pulls out that timewatch from like 5th grade (Which you "misplaced" two years ago at a benefit concert for your church), then she decides to, oh I don't know, TIME you? And it that's not weird, you pull up at school and there's this thick fog everywhere. That's insane. You can't even see two feet away from you. You meet up with your friends and they're all busy "studying".

Gah! Gah in your peanut brittle. Finals stresses everybody out. You know those lame tax collector commericals? The ones where at the end, someone proudly boasts, " Because...I got people." And you kind of imagine them popping their collar like they're all that.
The commercial featured a setting in a regular office with a bunch of balding republicans stressing out about their taxes, and occasionally pulling at yet another tuft of hair.

Then they all gang up around this one person with perfect hair, their eyes wide and disillusioned, "Why aren't you ripping your hair off like the rest of us?!"

Me: "Because I got...A life."

***

The new semester brings new classes and people, which brings forth new pressure.

I've got Biology. Sounds like a drag. But we get to cut up frogs and gag as their intestines spew by the wayside. Our protective goggles would fog up and our eyes would roll to the back of our heads as we faint oh-so-dramatically. Isn't that dandy?

I'd like to slap a geek label in his soup can.

But first impressions are actually crucial. I'm pretty laidback and talkative, I don't think I'll really have a problem getting people to see that. Although, I'm considering cutting off the umbilical cord on my social life. I went to an ex's party on Friday and had the singularly worst hangover I ever had on Saturday. The only thing I can remember is my gay friend sobbing because there was no more alcohol (he was wasted), and then he grabs the mike from the DJ, "Guyyyysss, there's no more alcohol!"

I remember dancing a little bit, then I remember the toilet very well. When you're drunk, you laugh at everything. Even at the fact that you just puked in your new jacket.

***

Let's get one thing straight. I'm not.

I'M hooked on canvas shoes.

I own quite a collection-- Being a Converse junkie such as myself, it's practically a requirement. You just can't stop at one pair. Ever heard of Converse Down Syndrome? ...Me neither, but I've got it. I actually bought myself a new pair at Journey's for my birthday. They're good-looking shoes and are simply smashing with the right hoodie, but sheesh! They're the least practical shoes in existence! You can't walk a mile without getting a bloody sore from it, AND don't even get me started on how complicated it is to lace them!

Well, something had to give, right?

***

I'm mentioning my love for shoes BECAUSE I'm working on a head-to-toe make-over for myself. I woke up with the sudden urge to dance as if the world was my stage, and I was the spotlight of the show. I woke up with the urge to act. xD

I think I can make it big. And then, in the future, I'll be on some high school news paper that reveals me at the epitome of my career and success, and in the commentaries below it would state:

Famour A-lister actress Tai Yang (above) did not make her middle school play, yet she overcame these obstacles and now has three golden globe awards and an Oscar for best actress of the year.

That would be epic! And it wouldn't take much to look the part, either.

Losing a bit of weight? Easy peasy.

Highlighting and cutting my hair? Consider it done.
Waxing my eyebrows? Pffttt, chyeah.

Anything else would just be overkill. Nobody wants to be a barbie replica, complete with matching Ken doll and superficial standards of beauty that seems to delight the anorexic all across the globe.

Gah! What I would give for 10,000 dollars and a day at the mall. But before all of that, I figured I might as well finish up my education. I'd like to go to Art School in NYU and graduate with a Masters Degree, and then pursue an acting career. I wouldn't change anything about my personality. I've never been much for fitting in-- I like standing out. Much more roomier, I think. Gives a person breathing space rather than trying to squeeze yourself into a narrow way of thinking.

Maybe I can land a role as a tomboy-ish lesbian hearthrob. A series for a mature audience, since I wouldn't mind going for a sex scene. Then, I'd work in other eccentric films for the Sundance Film Festival and star in movies that hits the big screen. Indie movies like Juno and Nick and Norah's catch my interest the most :]

At age 25, I would retire and just roam the world. Go backpacking through Europe, surf by the Great Barrier Reef of Australia, travel and get to know India and it's culture, spend a year getting in touch with my Asian roots, and return back to America after 5 years. I'd become an advocate for Gay Rights, donate 1/5 of my income to charities every year, and adopt a kid.

And after all that is over, I'd use my degree to get a job as an Animator in the Nickelodeon Head Studios and live in The Big Apple.

As for marriage, I'll let those pieces fall where they may. ;]

Dare to dream.

Keep it on the Down Low

...But I'm supposed to be studying for finals right about now. :/

Or:

Fuck

I

Never

Actually

Learned (this)

Shit

***

I visited New York not too long ago, desperate for a taste of adventure in the Big Apple.

Anyways, if you're ever driving by past the towering sky-scrapers around sunset and manage

to catch a glimpse of the glistening sun dipping into the earth in between sets of concrete

buildings, remember the phrase: Skylight Avenue.

It took my breath away, and I know I'm destined to end up

in New York.

***

Introductions?

Live and let
live."

In a really twisted way, I actually think I'm special. I really do.

My name is Tai.

I like pie.

I wish to fly

And if you don't reply

I will cry.

Did I get the rhyming thing out of your system yet?

------

Well, in layman's terms, I'm just a kid:

I fall in love; I get my heart
broken;

I travel to the ends of the earth just to find myself;

Doodling is an art;

I'm a devoted people-watcher;

I always picture them with better
haircuts;

I have dreams; I have nightmares;

A lot of friends; Few close friends;

The skill to lie; The ability to roll with the punches;

A prankster; A hopeless romantic;

Surprises fill my daily planner;

I'm just a face;

I'm an aspiring world traveler;

Aspiring actress;

Aspiring cartoonist;

And aspiring "perfect" friend,
Just wait.

I'll inspire one day."

- Jacqueline Anders

Cheers, mate. :]